Short Note from Peter

Hey everybody!
Hope you all are well. Gina and I are happy, tired and busy with our new little life here in NH. If you are curious what a 3 week old baby does, I can give you the rundown. They eat, sleep, stare at things blankly, sleep, poop, eat, pee etc. Basically they repeat this very thing over and over, sometimes mixing it up to keep us on our toes.

That's all for now.

Seen the Little Guy yet?

Go to youtube.com and type in Jack Files.

Sticky Wicket Book Blog

Please do not hesitate to ALSO update the book blog. It's "ours" as well. You should have gotten an invitation from this group, too. Would love to hear about what you are reading.

I find this seriously disturbing.....

artsy fartsy

hey all,
lex, i'm so excited that you're headed to italy soon...give some lovin to devon for me. so many of my friends are travelling right now, making me dream of where i'd like to venture to or live someday. morrocco, israel, vietnam, laos, italy, egypt, new zealand- i'll be getting so many stories about what these places are like!
heather, looked at a few photos from your sister's wedding- how fun and beautiful!
just a quick update from me- i've got a new job and i'm psyched! i'll be starting in a week at the ICA- Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston (newly built) as a visitor guide. the museum is gorgeous, so please come visit. erin mulvey's sister libby just moved to boston and is working there...i chatted with her a whole night at paul frink's birthday, and she told me to apply. whole foods is a place with fun people, but not my favorite work. i've experienced what it's like to work with gossip, miscommunication, selfishness (both myself and others) and i'm going to move on with a heart knowledge of how i'd like to relate to others.
so i'm sitting in my cozy apartment, happy not to be out in this 9-degree weather...but i've decided to brave it to have spicy indian food with a couple friends.
love to all...blessings and joy.
jenna

observing.

so a couple of nights ago i was driving home from work at about 9:30pm. I happened to get stopped at a light in downtown wheaton, right next to the starbucks and the train tracks (a few of you know where this is.) i notice that there is a group crossing the street in front of me, and as i'm idly gazing at them, i realize i recognize one of the people. he had an eyepatch, which probably had something to do with it. i realized it was this guy peter, who runs a environmental non-profit. some of yall may remember, he has come to gordon a couple of times. I can't remembe the name of the organization, i i think it's something like, "Creation Care" or something along those lines. Anyway, he had clearly just spoken at Wheaton and now was hanging out with some students. I saw him attempt to make his way into Starbucks as he stopped to shake folks' hands and chat. It was like watching myself at Gordon, going up to the chapel speakers and talking to them. That used to be such a big part of my life. And now i'm sitting in this car watching these students experience the same thing. I don't know why this struck me so hard, but I think it was this combination of nostalgia, a slight feeling of relief that that time of my life is (most likely) over, and a sense of hope that this sort of thing is going on at gordon and at other places. i felt connected to these students, and yet also was made aware of the different circumstances in which i find myself.

in other news, i now have two jobs: starbucks and trader joes. my hope is to make some money in the next few months, before i likely move on to something else. that something else might actually be L'Arche D.C., where heather is (well, she's in Arlington.) this is still up in the air, but i have been drawn to L'arche for about a year now and perhaps it is finally time to act by becoming an assistant there. obviously will keep yall updated.


my only other news is that in a few weeks i'm going to see devon! we will do italy like it's never been done before. thats not true. but we will have a great time. rome, orvieto, siena, cinque terra. the whole nine yards. expect lots of pictures.

oh ps-music recommendations: everyone should get the shins new album. very nice. that is all.

lex

Blog invites...

Friends,
You may have noticed an invitation to this blog via email. I encourage you to "accept" the invitation (even if you've posted on here before) because it allows you to become an individualized member of the "team blog" rather than having to sign your name each time. You can also add your own profile and password and username which is easier for you to remember. So, there you are. You'll notice at the bottom of this entry, it says "Posted by Heather Bixler." We would like for all of you to have this option! So, please, when you get the email, don't be shy (you may need to create a google email address if you dont already have one which is what i had to do).
Ok!

I'm juvenile....

I thought I would share with you all my newfound joy: www.stuffonmycat.com. It'll change your life. Here are a select few:

From the Elusivse

Greetings All,

I hope and trust that this message finds you all well. What a gift it is to read all of your postings, hear about where you all are, what you are all doing, discovering, learning, and how everyone is growing through their experiences.

Well for those who don't know, I am still in Tampa, FL, and am starting to find more peace with being here. It's hard to believe that I have now been here for more than a year (man...how time flies.) But things are going well, and progressively getting better. My search for fellowship and community continues, but I am blessed with good friends. And in all honesty, if Melissa Marley was not here I would not have made it this long down here. You may or may not remember her but she and I have been friends since I was a freshmen at Gordon. Melissa led Chapel Band when you guys were freshmen. She now works down here at my dad's church as the Youth Director. We get together once a week for breakfast as well as often through out the weeks just to hang out. It's great to have one of my closest friends here and she definitely keeps my sanity in check with things start to get overwhelming or I just need help focusing.

I'm still working at Starbucks, which is great. I've moved to a new store. The manager is great and the team of people I work with are wonderful. Classes also started last week and they are going well. I feel a bit over my head and know that this semester is going to be a lot of studying, but i've handled having a full-time job and going to classes before, so I'm not too worried. I'm just praying for a little time to at least breath, sleep, and see my friends and family. I'm also helping out at the hospital a couple times a month. A couple of full time positions have opened up at Tampa General and I've applied for those, so I'm just waiting to hear back.

And if my plate wasn't full enough already I'm continuing to help with and lead a service at my dad's church on Friday nights. It's a wonderful service where we do a bible study for the first 40 minutes and then have a time of worship and prayer. The people who come are mostly recovering addicts, those who've never gone to church before, or people who are living life styles that the 'typical' church going person in the south might not agree with. It's an awesome service and it's been wonderful watching it grow and draw in more people. This is actually what I consider to be my church and where I am more involved with worship.

Finally, as some people already know, I started seeing someone. Not to lead you all on, so I'm sorry for that, but I'm not going to get into that right now...maybe on another message. But if you'd like to hear more about that feel free to call me (978-473-6419) or e-mail me and I'd love to tell you all about it.

Again, hope this finds you all well and I will make sure that pictures come soon.

Blessings, Samwise

Lost in the Middle East with Middle Westerners

Some Christmas Family Pictures are always a good way to start :)

Hello Dear Friends,
Well, after some time fiddling around with google, passwords, and my own ambivalence towards using the internet to communicate, I have made my way into this blog with gratefulness and appreciation soley because I can think about you all. Egypt has brought many new challenges and joys, those being the people, food, and excitement as well as the responsiblity of caring for the creature I once was: a college student. It is akward to be on the other side of the fence, more so with staff than with students. There seems to be a pressure for me to not slip up so as I slowly lower myself into this boiling pot, it takes a bit of adjusting. Boiling pot is perhaps a bit too strong but I couldn't cook up any other analogies.
Phone conversations are the hardest in arabic since I don't know who I am talking to half the time nor am I am to see their emphatic body language which I depend on for understanding the arabic people are whirrling at me. Tonight on the phone I have already called off the delivery man and invited the wrong guy (who I've never met) to men's night to talk about men in Egypt (who could now be potentially any guy in Egypt...surpirse!) . Well, this land is full of surprises and the ability to adapt and be comfortable with chaos seems to be how people remain normal and have fun here. Perhaps all the controlling and pre-planning of our society in America could learn a lesson or two from the beauties of chaos. Could the benefits of chaos be assimilated to silly puddy? Think about it.
All and all, my stay here has been benefitial for learning arabic, more about the region, and learning how to be responsible. The students are a good time and have made my job graceful and fun. We went to Alexandria and Rosetta last weekend and have spent some good time playing guitar and chilling with some tea. Living and working with them requires much time and energy but it is all good and continues to teach me about life in community.
Allah MaAkoh

God with you all

Steve

Dreams and Anglish

Friends,

Greetings from Oxford University! My second term here began a fortnight ago, and I'm happy to be back. The square peg of my American-ness has by this time had its corners filed to fit the round hole of British culture. I now use words like 'fortnight', for example. And I never, ever say 'pants' when I mean 'trousers'.

At roughly the age I am now, my father permanently absconded from his homeland - for Love. My English grandparents are frankly hoping that I'll do the same. 'Have any young ladies caught your fancy at Oxford, Nealson?' Grandad Munn asked on New Year's Eve. 'How are you getting on with them?' I returned his gaze with what I imagined to be a sincere and good-natured expression and said, wanting, Neville Chamberlain-like, to appease his curiosity without fueling his acquisitive impulses, 'English women find me too guileless, Grandad; there's not enough irony in my worldview. Only Irish women give me any attention'.

'Oh'. His disappointment was evident as he looked down at his glass of Port. Were he not an ex-Salvation Army officer I imagine he would at that moment have finished the wine in a single gulp, extinguished a cigarette, and flicked the butt into the empty chalice just for effect, perhaps muttering as he did so: 'Life, it seems, is more talented than we...'.

He's not the only one expecting me to emigrate. My former roommate Alex Oldfield predicted one hot night last July, as he reached from his bed to arrest our oscillating fan mid-arc, like a man wringing a chicken's neck, that this year I would 'become thoroughly Anglicized and never come home again'. Owing to my father's influence I've been partly Anglicized since childhood, of course ('We didn't win the War by not eating our beans!' - a favourite dinnertime maxim), but my experiences this year have by no means entirely expurgated the American elements of my personality. My current roommate Charley Mull serves to keep me balanced in this respect, as do my numerous consortations with other American students and even, at Christmastime, Devon Abts, with whom I spent a splendid day in Milan browsing through bookshops, drinking expressos, and dodging falling particles of 'building fuzz' (her term) beneath the scaffolding of the Duomo.

It's been great to read of the happenings in all of your lives. I hope you continue to enjoy 'the life that is truly life'. Even if you don't always feel your being suffused with a bouyant Pauline optimism - although I do, thanks to a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and Earl Grey - take heart: a friend and I recently agreed that it is possible to have existential angst and still be a Christian! In England, of course, one keeps such matters entirely private; but I suppose it safe to assume that a blog entitled 'Dreams and Anguish' is something of a liminal zone, an area of 'cultural remission', you know?

Keep in touch!

Ta,

Nealson

(P.S. The 'Ta' should be read as inflected with heavy irony)

hola mis amores

so very glad you guys started this blog. it gives me goosebumps to read your thoughts and experiences.
so yep, i've moved into boston with dave and our friend lance...moved in september after a fun summer in salem, but a sketchball neighborhood that forced meg and rachel and i to break the lease. so the food project employment has ended and i needed a new job fast, so i'm working at whole foods market in cambridge (and still haven't been able to connect with josh!) it's a strange job, catering to customer's wishes and speaking a lot of spanish with the women i work with. so some days i question why i'm here doing this, but i'm making great friends and am teaching one honduran woman some english. it's a fun time right now of being able to stay up late with dave and watch little britain (a skit show i highly recommend- lex, very similar to kids in the hall) or go out to a random party with my friend laura. dave and i both are reading so much about vedanta, hinuism, buddhism, spiritual healing, thomas merton- so many spiritual treasures. i've really been getting into art, learning, going to workshops and the new institute of contemporary art (sooo cool), painting...it's nice to have the mental space to express myself like this!
i'm so glad to hear from you all...i pray peace and joy for you in the present moment.

love love,
jenna nordie

Hello Friends!
This is a fun way to keep up on news.
I am frustrated on a pretty much daily basis by the limitations of email, the telephone, AIM, and the English language. One at a time or all at once. Depends on the day.You all know that i am not a highly audible or verbal person, but i do love language. I shall try to keep my usual approach reined in a bit, as i tend to be slightly dickensian in my winding narratives.
As most of you know, i am at home with my family in PA and looking for a job. That encompasses most of my thoughts and activities as of late.
My most recent and most exciting lead was about a job in London. Working for a british law firm, translating german documents, a temporary arrangement. The phone call came while i was in the shower on a friday morning. Listened to the message, told my parents, decided to be brave and go for it, and called the lady back about 1.5 hours after she had called me. Wasn't able to make voice contact until the following tuesday afternoon. It wasn't the most intense game of phone tag i've ever played, but it was in the top 5. Turns out that the position was filled with the person they called after i did not answer my phone. From now until my first job interview i have sworn off showering. ;)
For the time being i have landed a babysitting job (mreh) on monday mornings that will keep me in gas money and pay the cell phone bill. That begins this coming monday and as long as the little children don't come unto me and get me sick i'll be golden. There is also the prospect of coaching the sprinting team at my high school this spring. The position is mine if i want it, and i'm pretty darn sure that i do. Coaching in the spring of 2004 stands out as a distinct period of happiness in my life. To the prospect of having that again, i say "ja! bitte!"
more news as it comes.
love to you all.
the ray ray

Please SIGN!

Friends. I have superb intuition, but for those who don't, please remember to sign the end of your blog postings. We could very well become very confused.
--Heather

Back in MN!

So I'm sitting in the office converting word files to PDFs so I can add them to the online journal for the webpage, exciting stuff. Actually, there has been alot of exciting stuff that has been going on since I got back to MN.

Travels around the south were awesome, but covered by most so I won't repeat.

It has been amazing to be back and to have classes start. I'm stoked about my "Experience and Nature" class with Jasper. Check out the reading list:

The Idea of Holy by Rudolph Otto
The Bible (parts of Exodus, Psalms, 1st Kings, Johah, Isaiah, Mark, Luke and Acts)
The Wilderness World of John Muir by Edwin WayTeale
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
The Singing Wilderness AND Reflections from the North Country by Sigurd Olson
Ordeal by Hunger by George Stewart
A Sand County Almanac by Aldo Leopold
(notes on books after I read them will thus be transfered to the book blog)

Plus it was just great to be back in the community here and to come back to familiar faces. So different from the start of last semester where I felt like such a newbie. Last night Josie and I went to Banada (a bar in town) for Karaoke night, tomorrow night is our first potluck and then I think we are going to a concert at McGoffs (think Kitty's) on Saturday night. And our small group started meeting up again on Tuesday night, and this week we played Settlers. Twas awesome.

I'm getting back in the swing of ski school too. This morning we had 120 5th and 6th graders on the hill. It was crazy!! I almost lost my voice trying to teach my 15 students while the snow blowers were going. "suzie, you need to use your wedge" "suzie, wedge!" "wedge!" "WEDGE!!!" It was pretty chaotic, but fun, and I know that they guy who runs the school really appreciates having another ski instructor back. They are a bit short staffed, so it helps.

So, MN is cold, but beautiful in the snow. (who thought i'd ever say that?!) - Rachel

Dadgummit

Apologies to the book blog, its sticky, not gummy. JK

Here

Hello friends. Thought it was time to make an appearance and let you know where I'm at. I moved down to the big NJ about a week and a half ago. Work has been very good so far, though very long. I remain excited about my program.

As expected, I don't really know anyone in the area at all. Coming from an environment where even I felt slightly overloaded socially to this absolute silence is a transition. I don't intend to become comfortable with boredom, I'm working at meeting people but as you likely imagine, haven't gotten incredibly far. Even though I'm not an intern, there are a lot of interns here, and because they're European (different system), they're almost all older or at least the same age. Please forgive me if I start speaking English with a German/Polish accent. In the meantime, I'm reading and will make posts to the sticky... (or was it gummy?) blog in time.
JK

Thoughts from this side of the Atlantic

As many of you know, last month was really difficult for me here. I always feel strange to admit that, when I look out my window at the splendor of the mountains, but it really was quite awful. I had conflicts with the Bouttier family and have been facing my own inner conflicts as well. Yesterday my real family left after being here one week, and I feel completely different. I really needed some familiarity, and now it is so clear to me how desperate I was to see the faces of people I love. We had a blast, and it was really fun to be with them here in my apartment.

Admist the loneliness and frustration of last month, I learned some of the hardest lessons about myself and how I relate with others. I have learned so much about patience and my need for more of it; the same is true of my need to always ask for grace. I’ve learned that keeping things to yourself turns your soul black, and that I have difficulty with vulnerability. That was the hardest lesson of all, but I think I needed it the most. I am learning how much I love the Church in all her glories and flaws, and that faith is choice that will some days be very difficult and other days the only thing that makes sense. I am learning a little French, but I still love Italian more. And every day I learn so much about gratitude for the chance to discover so much: about people, about the world, about myself. It’s not easy to be away from everyone I love, but it is always so clear that God wants me here right now, and that there’s a lot of growth happening through to my soul.

So that was kind of an intense beginning to my contribution, but it’s been an intense month. Here’s a few other thoughts:

Right now, my biggest concern is how to read the last 3 chapters of The Last Battle to Siri and Lilo tomorrow without bursting into tears because I always do at the end of the book. Can I add that I just love Narnia? Maybe everyone knew that…

It’s strange to live such an active lifestyle. I try to go ice skating whenever the girls want to go—about 3 times a week. I’m not very good; whose idea was it anyways to put knives on the bottom of your boots and go walk on frozen water? I go skiing occasionally; today I went to try a Latin dance course at the Palace of Sports (walked in, took one look around me, examined my confidence and walked out); not to mention, of course, that the incline here makes going to the bread store a workout. I think I went to Bennett five times all of last year. And I’m pretty sure I called the walk from Jenks to Hull St House a workout. But it’s also really good. There’s a lot of truth to that old cliché of “fresh mountain air” doing good for the soul. As many of you know I am also trying to quit adderall—with Sylvain as my personal chiropracter, it seems like the best time to do this; and the sports help me to feel more energetic through the withdrawal. Plus it’s just good to develop these healthy habits.

I really miss everyone. I know we are kinda spread across the globe right now, but I think of you all often. Many times I will look at my watch and think of someone headed to work or what you guys might be doing at that moment. Community is hard here. I don’t really understand French, and to be honest, I don’t understand British English much better. Thank you all for the letters, post cards, etc. they mean so much to me. Alright, I am going to go make masks with Lilo for their car Corn—a rather hilarious sight, I will post pictures. gotta run. sorry for the scattered ness of this post.

love from france
devron

Book blog

Lex and I ALSO decided to create a book blog. Its called...The Sticky Wicket Book Blog. the address is stickywicketbooks.blogspot.com, and the username and password are the same as this blog, dreams and anguish. Feel free to mention what you are reading on this blog, but we figured a book blog might be something of a useful tool for us to find new reading material, recommended by the most trusted sources..all y'all.

please dont limit your posts...anything from a pamphlet to proust is welcome! cheers, and enjoy. h & l.

Back in FL?

So...i just returned from an incredible weekend in the DC area where I got to witness and be a part of the Melissa/Jacob wedding. What an amazing event, time, and experience! Not only was it great to witness the union of these two incredible people and families, but to catch up with good friends and family was more than I could have asked for. It not only was a blessing to hear about what is going on in their lives but to be able to share what is going on in my own. I was also reminded of how much I miss the community we all shared when we lived so close to each other and what a gift it is to be able to live with your friends.

As many know, living in FL has been quite difficult for me over the past year (I can't believe I've already been down here for over a year!!!). In fact, I actually was not looking forward to coming back. While I've made some great friends and have loved school, finding fellowship and a faith community was and is a trying process. But this has not stopped me from building community. I feel very blessed by the friends God has placed in my life down here. Even though they don't go to church, most don't believe, and they all live life styles that most people at Gordon would be uncomfortable with, they continue to show me how love and commitment bind people together in amazing ways. They care for each other very deeply and are always ready and willing to help in what ever way necessary. When someone needs help moving they're there with their trucks. If someone's car broke down, they're helping out with rides or pulling money together to help fix it. The only thing that is difficult though, is their is no sharing of faith or belief. And this weekend, I was once again hit with how much I miss and need that.

The love and commitment that is now binding Melissa and Jacob together is an incredible thing. But the love and commitment that has and does bind our group together is also incredible. It was wonderful to get together with Rachel, Lex and Heather this weekend. Even though we haven't seen each other in months, it was like no time had passed at all. We were talking, laughing, sharing stories, concerns, struggles, joys and meals together like we were back up at Hull St. We are truly fortunate with the friends we have and the community we've created, and the faith we share.

So...even though community is hard to build and not always tangible or very visible...it doesn't mean it's missing from our lives totally. So thank you all! - Sam

L'Arche - another year?

It seems hard to believe that I've been involved in l'Arche since June of 2006. My experiences in l'Arche over the past 7 months have varied greatly, many ups and downs, many twists and turns. But, even with all the inconsistenty that comes with opening a new house and dealing with a new bureacratic system, l'Arche remains. Even with the meetings I've missed, the paperwork I've forgotten to hand in, the many mistakes I've made, the house still stands. There is a profound sense when working in l'Arche that something huge is going on outside of yourself. Not only outside of yourself, but outside of your home, or community, your region. There are people living out their lives in l'Arche homes all over the world in various circumstances -- inside the walls of Bethlehem, in remote corners of Southern Africa, in war-torn Northern Ireland, in the bustling metropoli of Chicago, Portland, Montreal, Ontario, and DC, in the corn fields of Iowa and Kansas, in the rolling countryside of France.

It is so easy to get bogged down by the mundane details of daily life and forget that l'Arche is a grassroots, faith-lead, international movement that is changing the lives of the rich and the poor alike. And it's also easy to forget that the mundane details of daily life are often the most holy acts - extending a hand to someone walking up the stairs, helping someone fold their laundry, eating a meal together in silent reflection.

I had convinced myself that graduate school would be next on the list, which is still is in many ways. But just last month, the director of the DC community asked me to come on as the Home Life Coordinator for the Highland House. I would start in the summertime. Now, part of me wanted to make a decision based on my own needs and desires, my own "plans." But the other part of me felt a pull to make a decision that would benefit the community, that would meet needs beyond myself. Graduate school will always be there. The Highland House really needs consistency. And I'm in desperate need of some orginazation/detail skills which I hope to acquire if I take the job.

I will make the final decision this week. And I'm not turning in any applications to graduate school. I think I know what I'm going to do. L'Arche for another year!! I've never been one to make such committments, but I guess that means I'm growing up - planning more than just a few months in advance. I am excited for the opportunity to be more involved in the life of the community, in brainstorming and decision-making. I just hope I can rise to the occassion! Man, sometimes I feel like my head isn't screwed on straight. But....here I go! My best bet is l'Arche will still be standing, even if I make a million mistakes. This isn't about me. It's about something greater than me. I just need to remember that.
--HEATHER B.

weddings and other thoughtful things.

so melissa bixler got married yesterday. weird, and great. it was only yesterday that we were meeting jacob for the first time at hull st. house. the wedding was full on episcopal, and as i sat there i said to my self, self, i hope that i can live to see all my friends this happy. this might not come through marriage, though for many it will. i always am overwhelmed at weddings by the amount of joys, sorrows, and annoyances that face each couple, which makes me think about this book im reading right now. Amazing Grace, by kathleen norris, takes all of these religious terms and concepts and sort of tries to break them down. In this book, she talks about belief and how the Greek root for this word means "to give one's heart to." so belief is not just thinking something with the mind, but choosing to give your heart to that person, or idea, or God. i think i forget how closely intertwined love and belief/faith are, in that they both require commitment. hell, maybe they are the same thing.

while at the wedding, i was talking to this catholic dude who wants to become a priest, about the infallibility of the pope. he termed it as: the pope can never be wrong, but the statement or idea can always be said better. i dont know exactly where i stand on the pope's authority, but i do like the dialectic of "not wrong"/"room for improvement." as i continue to try to figure out how to deal with some of the (hard) things i come across in Scripture, some of the teaching to which i have been exposed, i like the idea of approaching these uncertainties with this attitude of respect for the "rightness" of the teaching, and also that perhaps this teaching could be done better. for example, it drives me nuts when folks take stuff from the epistles out of context, but instead of just rolling my eyes, perhaps i need to...acknowledge what is right, and then go from there. easier said than done. but in this way, perhaps i can act out my love toward my fellow members of the body of Christ.
-LEX

This is for us.

Welcome to Dreams and Anguish, a blog for 'us' to share our ideas, insights, and experiences of life after college. Though we are far flung, dreams and anguish bring us together. Please post when you think the time is right. We all have something to share and something to learn. The collective 'we' looks forward to hearing from anyone and everyone -- you.

Enjoy, and begin!

Lex and Heather - co-conspirators